Thursday, May 8, 2014

Want More? We're Back.

Guess who's back, Peeps!

We know, we did something bad. Something unthinkable. We left you. We abruptly ripped the Hot Male Alert rug right from under you. And from under ourselves. It was devastating. And that was in 2010.

But what we didn't realize then is that our little movement, our overwhelming desire to share beautiful men with the world via cheeky commentary, would spark a revolution. We weren't the first to do this and we respect those that came before us. What we did do is put our special H.M.A. flavor on it. Our brand has carried on, oddly enough, without us. Since 2010, we have seen our influence spread like wildfire throughout the world wide web. Several major magazines and some other blogs (we're too classy to name names, but you know who you are) have appropriated our style and tried to mimic our voice. We see ourselves in you, or at least we see what you were hoping to achieve. If imitation is the highest form of flattery, color us flatter....if not a little bit riled up.

But guess who's back? We are. We have realized the error of our ways. Forgive us? Cool, let's get back in the saddle. Here goes nothing.

Stalk on!

Monday, January 18, 2010

Morning Quickie: Chang Chen

Happy Monday, Peeps!

Let's skip the sassy foreplay today; let's just jump right on into the lovin'.

Today's juicy tidbit: CHANG CHEN!!! Taiwanese actor, super hot. 'Nuff said.

Wast that as good for you as it was for me?

Let's take a moment of silence for the quick but lingering love that is Chang Chen.

Stalk on!

Monday, January 11, 2010

Guy Candy: David Gandy

Happy Monday, Peeps!!

Today, I'm indulging my male model fetish. And, luckily, male model hotness tends to speaks for itself.

Today's juicy tidbit: DAVID GANDY!!!

British model taking the industry by storm. Rightfully so, since this guy's got the Tall, Dark and Handsome thing down to a science and is hotter than a tea kettle. That, and he has an apparent affinity for going nearly nude whenever possible, God bless him. You may recognize him as the scantily clad boy body in the Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue ads. Muy caliente!!! Set the world on fire, David. We can take the heat...

Let's take a moment of silence for the "he-never wears-clothes-but-we-love-it" hotness that is David.

Stalk on!

Monday, January 4, 2010

M.A.M.B. Alert: Mark Sanchez

Happy Monday, Peeps!

It's time for another M.A.M.B Alert. Not that I'm at all a "Rah Rah, GO TEAM!" kinda girl. It's just that sports offers so many insanely attractive men that I'd be doing you, the world even, a huge disservice if I ignored that. Plus, here at H.M.A, that would go against all I stand for. And we wouldn't want that, would we? No siree!!!

Without further ado, today's juicy tidbit: Mark Sanchez!!! This 6'2, 225 lb Mexican American man-bombshell (or, should I say, "m.a.m.b-shell", ha!) from Long Beach, California is the QB for the New York Jets. I ran across his beautiful face whilst flipping through the pages of Cosmo Magazine during the holidays. As I sit at home with my mother, sister and best friend from the 6th grade, I took one look at him and nearly choked on my Christmas red velvet cupcake. "Oh yes," I managed to whisper while recovering, "yesssssssssss.". Just the mere glimpse of him: his striking face, killer smile, thick, wavy hair meant for tugging, sparkling eyes and wicked body, made me start ovulating. Oh Mark, where for art thou to be my baby daddy??? Come hither and yawn...

After I'd made up my mind to share him with you, I knew I had to ask my audience for a second opinion. As I passed the Cosmo around, his picture face up on the page, I asked "Sooooo... H.M.A?". My lovely mother, sister and bff all concurred: he was quality. So enjoy, and if you see him, tell him that H.M.A. says keep up the good work. We like him...a lot.

Let's take a moment of silence for the conclusive-by-popular opinion hotness that is Mark.

Stalk on!

Monday, December 21, 2009

Morning Quickie: Chris Hemsworth

Happy Monday, Peeps!

For today's morning quickie -worthy juicy tidbit, I'm bringing you the Thundah From Down Undah, the Hottie With A Body who's sure to put the "good" in your "G'day Mate!": Australian acting stallion CHRIS HEMSWORTH!!!

FEEAAAAAASSSSSSSSTTTTTT your tired eyes, my lovelies, and let the sight of this handsome creature whisk you away to naughty Never Never Land. And don't rush back; we understand that what you two need to do there maaaaay just take a while...

Let's take a moment of silence for the Aussie Thundah that is Chris.

Stalk on!

Monday, December 14, 2009

Baby, Are You Down?: Jay Sean

Happy Monday, Peeps!

Its funny how magnetic male hotness is. I could be walking the streets of NYC, stopping in a store, watching TV or listening to music and it will just JUMP out at me, so full, bright and overpowering that it can't be resisted. Just the other day I saw a beautiful man pass by me on the street and I lost all concentration. I texted friends with news: "I just saw the hottest guy ever!!". "Do I smell crazy?!", one replied. "No," I responded with pride, "You smell a woman that's always on her J.O.B.!!"

And speaking of my J.O.B., today's juicy tidbit: JAY SEAN!!! Jay Sean is a 26 year old British-Indian superstar import. He is a singer–songwriter, rapper, beatboxer record producer, and arranger who has been amazing the world with his sexy vocal stylings and a body that just won't quit (and thank heavens for that!). He's now trying to achieve cross-over success in America with his single "Down" with Lil' Wayne. I had heard it before on the radio, as its getting great amounts of play, but it wasn't until I saw the video for the single that I fully understood the extent of his hot male-ness. The opening shot of the video is him standing shirtless in the mirror. MMmmmm, you do the math... Its good stuff, indeed. And on top of that, he's got swagger AND a british accent. What's not to like?

Let's take a moment of silence for the shirtless-in-the-mirror-flexing-his-booooddddy splendor that is Jay Sean.

Stalk on!

Hot Men. Tasty Morsels. Every Monday. E: W:

Monday, December 7, 2009

Ninja Love: Rain

Happy Monday, Peeps!!

Lately I've had an insatiable taste for Kung Fu Treachery, what with all the recent movie releases that involve high amounts of ass kickin', swash-bucklin', sweaty, bloody Hot Male Alert fantasticalism!! I scratched my eternal itch this weekend when I saw my new favorite movie, Ninja Assassin. And ooooh was I my naughty places most of all.

Today's juicy tidbit: RAIN!!!! Born in South Korea in '82, Rain is a quadruple threat: K-pop singer, dancer, actor, and apparently the baddest ninja assassin mofo that eva did live!!! As Raizo in Ninja Assassin, he sticks it to the Man (in his case his "father"), looking sexy with his impeccable body, doing sick ass moves as he flings his wet chin-length hair out of his face repeatedly. All this while also subconsciously fallin in lust with a Black girl, which made me cheese harder than a cheshire cat!!

AHHHH, SO MUCH STIMULATION!! Good times, indeed. It was this girl's wet dream: hardcore action, killin', fightin', hard bodies, and Bl-Asian Love!! Yesssss!!

Let's take a moment of silence for the ass-kickin' assassin splendor that is Rain.

Stalk on!