Morning Quickie: Chris Hemsworth

Happy Monday, Peeps!

For today's morning quickie -worthy juicy tidbit, I'm bringing you the Thundah From Down Undah, the Hottie With A Body who's sure to put the "good" in your "G'day Mate!": Australian acting stallion CHRIS HEMSWORTH!!!

FEEAAAAAASSSSSSSSTTTTTT your tired eyes, my lovelies, and let the sight of this handsome creature whisk you away to naughty Never Never Land. And don't rush back; we understand that what you two need to do there maaaaay just take a while...

Let's take a moment of silence for the Aussie Thundah that is Chris.

Stalk on!

Baby, Are You Down?: Jay Sean

Happy Monday, Peeps!

Its funny how magnetic male hotness is. I could be walking the streets of NYC, stopping in a store, watching TV or listening to music and it will just JUMP out at me, so full, bright and overpowering that it can't be resisted. Just the other day I saw a beautiful man pass by me on the street and I lost all concentration. I texted friends with news: "I just saw the hottest guy ever!!". "Do I smell crazy?!", one replied. "No," I responded with pride, "You smell a woman that's always on her J.O.B.!!"

And speaking of my J.O.B., today's juicy tidbit: JAY SEAN!!! Jay Sean is a 26 year old British-Indian superstar import. He is a singer–songwriter, rapper, beatboxer record producer, and arranger who has been amazing the world with his sexy vocal stylings and a body that just won't quit (and thank heavens for that!). He's now trying to achieve cross-over success in America with his single "Down" with Lil' Wayne. I had heard it before on the radio, as its getting great amounts of play, but it wasn't until I saw the video for the single that I fully understood the extent of his hot male-ness. The opening shot of the video is him standing shirtless in the mirror. MMmmmm, you do the math... Its good stuff, indeed. And on top of that, he's got swagger AND a british accent. What's not to like?

Let's take a moment of silence for the shirtless-in-the-mirror-flexing-his-booooddddy splendor that is Jay Sean.

Stalk on!

Hot Men. Tasty Morsels. Every Monday. E: hotmalealert@gmail.com W: hotmalealert.blogspot.com

Ninja Love: Rain

Happy Monday, Peeps!!

Lately I've had an insatiable taste for Kung Fu Treachery, what with all the recent movie releases that involve high amounts of ass kickin', swash-bucklin', sweaty, bloody Hot Male Alert fantasticalism!! I scratched my eternal itch this weekend when I saw my new favorite movie, Ninja Assassin. And ooooh was I pleased...in my naughty places most of all.

Today's juicy tidbit: RAIN!!!! Born in South Korea in '82, Rain is a quadruple threat: K-pop singer, dancer, actor, and apparently the baddest ninja assassin mofo that eva did live!!! As Raizo in Ninja Assassin, he sticks it to the Man (in his case his "father"), looking sexy with his impeccable body, doing sick ass moves as he flings his wet chin-length hair out of his face repeatedly. All this while also subconsciously fallin in lust with a Black girl, which made me cheese harder than a cheshire cat!!

AHHHH, SO MUCH STIMULATION!! Good times, indeed. It was this girl's wet dream: hardcore action, killin', fightin', hard bodies, and Bl-Asian Love!! Yesssss!!

Let's take a moment of silence for the ass-kickin' assassin splendor that is Rain.

Stalk on!

Morning Quickie: Santiago Cabrera

Happy Monday, Peeps!

Since we've all got somewhere to be this morning, we'll have to get our jollies quick, fast and in a hurry.

Today's juicy tidbit: SANTIAGO CABRERA!!! 31 years old, actor, Chilean, piping hot. 'Nuff said.

Let's take a moment of silence and give thanks for morning quickies like Santiago.

Stalk on!

M.A.M.B ALERT: Will Demps

Happy Monday, Peeps!

Sooo, I'm just gonna jump right in on this one. No need to dilly-dally.

Today's juicy tidbit: WILL DEMPS!!! You may recognize this 30 year-old, 6ft tall, 208lb Charleston, South Carolina native from his days of throwing the pigskin around with the New York Giants, Baltimore Ravens, and the Houston Texans. Now, though, sexy ol' Big Willy is a free agent. And with his chiseled good looks, winning Colgate smile, and just all around scrumptiousness (which no doubt could be attributed to his Koren mother and African-American father falling in love and doing us all a major solid), he would be more than welcome to bring his free agent self over here and sign with my team! We could practice everyday: he could tackle me any which way his little heart desires. I'm up for the challenge, because I definitely can take a hit. Mmm mm mm, scrumpt-dilli-umptious!!

Let's take a moment of silence of the sheer M.A.M.B goodness that is Will.

Stalk on!

Anonymous Sexy #1: He Who Shall Remain Nameless

Happy Monday, Peeps!

You know, stalking is a tough job. One of the toughest, if you ask me. I mean, I'm ALWAYS on my J.O.B., scouring the internet, scanning the streets, etc. all to bring to light the hottest of the hot. I practically eat, sleep and breath Hot Male Alert. It is indeed a tough job, but, sigh, someone's gotta do it. And oooh, don't you worry, I do it, with extreme pleasure.

The overall reward, though, is having the good fortune to catch glimpses of some of the most beautiful male specimens the world at large has to offer!! ...And let the congregation say "AMEN!" Problem is, even with all the investiga-tory probing that I conduct, sometimes my powers of the stalk come up with little to no vital stat information. LAME! However, it just wouldn't be fair not to share such yumminess even it remains nameless. That would be like me walking down the street, seeing a hot guy, and NOT whipping my head around in a style quite reminiscent of Linda Blair in The Exorcist. No, no, no, that just would not do.

So, today's juicy tidbit: HAVE NO CLUE WHAT HIS NAME IS!!! Came across him thanks to our friends over at Another Guy Blog (anotherguyblog.blogspot.com). Don't know how old he, how tall he is, how much he weighs, what he does for a living, what his favorite color is, if he'd prefer my legs wrapped around his waist OR thrown over his shoulders while getting down to the business of lovin', don't know a single thing about him. Don't know...and frankly don't care. What I DO know is more than enough. And what do we know about Anonymous Sexy #1, kids??? Say it with me, now: "HE'S BEEEEEEEEAAAAUTIFUL!!" Just look at him. As an added fun activity, I like to stare at him and pretend like I'm tracing the outline of his muscles with my tongue. Feel free to follow suit.

Let's talk a moment of silence for the anonymous sexiness that is [insert name here]!

Stalk on!

P.S. If you know this man, and would like to share details with the class, please email me at hotmalealert@gmail.com. Please and thank you.

Grrrrrrrooooowwwwl: Johnny Tri Nguyen

Happy Monday, Peeps!

Today's juicy tidbit is an oldie but goodie. Ridiculously hot Johnny Tri Nguyen was one of my first Hot Male Alerts, way back in the day, and every time I come across his picture, something happens to me. And it goes a little something like this:

1) Eyes bug out
2) Completely stop breathing
3) Once breathing recommences,
4) Let out a big ::siiiiiiiiiiiigh::
5) Try to speak, but instead can only form loud, abrupt sounds that quite possibly are only heard and understood within the animal kingdom.
6) Foaming at the mouth, drooling, and panting are also known potential side effects

That being said, I could talk him up, but....why?!?! Just LOOK at him!!!! He's so beautiful it doesn't make any sense. Mmmm, mmm, mm, [insert animal noise here].

Let's take a moment of silence for the "he's so tasty he needs an instant replay" appeal of Johnny.

Stalk on!

"The Hottest Nerd I've Ever Seen": Sean D. Sullivan

Happy Monday, Peeps!


What a beautiful day to wake up and smell the hottie. It'd be nice if we could all just roll over and find it in bed next to us. If you've got that, more power to you and I'm super jealous. If not, I've got a treat for you...

Today's juicy tidbit: SEAN D. SULLIVAN!!! I've been keeping him under wraps for a while, wanting him to be my secret hottie viewing pleasure. Yes, I'm selfish like that sometimes. Don't judge me.

Sean is an up-and-coming model making a splash with his ridiculously good-looking looks. When I showed him to a group of close friends, one friend exclaimed "well that's the hottest nerd i've ever seen!" And right she is indeed. Photographers Doug Inglish and Nate Jensen did a wonderful job of capturing Sean's man beauty. We likey.

But seriously, it is at ALL possible to get him to lay in the bed next to me? Who can work that out? Email me if you can.

Let's take a moment of silence for the "I'm not really a nerd, I just play one in a photoshoot" deliciousness that is Sean.


Stalk on!

M.A.M.B. ALERT: ESPN'S Body Issue

Happy Monday, Peeps!

So when I heard about ESPN the magazine's latest issue being chock full of yummy naked athlete goodness, I KNEW it was fodder for Hot Male Alert. And lucky for you all, I can't choose just one! Oooooh the copious amounts of tasty morsel-ness!!!

Today's juicy tidbit: OOOOH, ALLLLLL OF THEM! I mean, COME ON!! Naked, sweaty, glistening, muscle-bound athleticism in its rawest form?? This just might get me to resurrect my Wall O' Men in my bedroom, tearing that poor magazine to bits in the name of the stalk. I just wanna...lick every man page...hold them close to my bosom and let them know they are loved. Stare at their perfectly crafted bodies till I fall asleep...MMMM mmm mm, a sports fantasy come true.

Let's take a moment of silence for the naked male sportsmen goodness that is ESPN's The Body Issue.


Stalk on!


P.S. If you're in the mood for even more hot male bodies served up without the wrapping paper, some that may even leave a bit less to the imagination too, check out my friends at Paragon Men [www.paragonmen.com].

Take Me to Bollywood, Baby!: Ranbir Kapoor

Happy Monday, Peeps!

Ever sit in a movie theater taking in a flick, and just get a little...excited...by the leading man? I mean, like so excited you start squirming in your seat and forget to breath for at least 2 whole scenes? Mmmmmm, ok, maybe that's just me. I had the pleasure of having that experience this weekend while checking out the Bollywood film "Wake Up Sid." A gem of a film, it follows Sid, a spoiled rich college student nearing graduation who is forced to take stock of his life and discover what kind of man he wants to be. As he finds his way, finding love as he does it, I find love myself in him and struggle to keep my seat dry...from my sappy love story-induced tears...or whatever.

Who is this Bollywood stunner that has me wanting to learn how to say "I Love You" in foreign languages, you ask? Today's juicy tidbit: RANBIR KAPOOR!!! The 27 year old Indian actor is a well-known actor in Bollywood, having mesmerized many a lady with his youthful good looks, gentle yet piercing gaze, and top notch acting abilities. I'm telling you, Bollywood is where its at because I literally was so entranced by him I had to see this movie twice. TWICE! Stalker much? Of course!!

If Bollywood's where they're hiding all the good ones, your girl might have to take a trip. How's coming with?

Let's take a moment of silence for the newly discovered treasure that is Ranbir.

Stalk on!

God Does Good Work: Jon Kortajarena

Happy Monday Peeps!

There are times in life when words are deemed completely useless. Right now is one of those times.

Today's juicy tidbit: JON KORTAJARENA!!! There are...no words. I wish I could find some, but Jon has me tongue tied, mouth wide open, drool slipping down, eyes bugged out. Just...dig in. Enjoy.

Let's bow our heads in thanks and take a moment of silence for the (fill in the blank) that is Jon.


Stalk on!

http://http://www.jon-k.net/

Husband Material: Wentworth Miller

Happy Monday, Peeps!

Hot men, mmmm. What does the word "hot" even mean? Merriam-Webster's Dictionary defines the adjective "hot" as "capable of giving a sensation of heat, sexually excited or receptive, and/or sexy", among other definitions. Well, that sounds about right.

What, however, does it mean to YOU in relation to men? What makes one particular guy hot, while the others are not? Does it come down to simply physical attraction, with your heart stopping at a mere glance at his body, face, abs, or eyes? Or is it deeper than that? How much deeper? Do brains, a sense of humor, or good manners completely trump all else in the search for hotness? What is it about men that gets your nether regions all in a tizzy? Inquiring minds want to know.

While you're thinking about that...today's juicy tidbit: WENTWORTH MILLER!! This 37 year old, 6'1 stunner with an immensely diverse ethnic background has been setting panties aflame for years, having starred in the hit Fox series Prison Break. And as of late, Wentworth, a Princeton University graduate with a degree in English Lit and experience singing in a college a capella group [::swoon::], took on the task of kicking asses and taking names on the season premiere of Law & Order: SVU. I can't even tell you how many friends of mine who had seen the episode were overcome with immense joy while telling me about his cameo. But this hottie's been on my radar since way back. He was immortalized on my "Wall of Men" in back in high school, an image of him as a model ripped from the pages of the now deceased YM Magazine and securely taped up along with the others. Looking at that man, with eyes that pierce the soul, who is of African-American, Jamaican, English, German, Russian, French, Jewish, Dutch, AND Lebanese ancestry, never failed to send my core temperature shooting above 98.6 degrees. Still, Mr. Miller was never one to be considered as merely perfunctory...no, no, no... this one's husband material.

Let's take a moment of silence for the well-rounded hotness that is Wentworth.

Stalk on!!

P.S. Soooo, done thinking about what "hot" means to you? Wonderful. Leave a comment below and share with the class....

Helllllllllo, Mr. Officer: Adam Rodriguez

Happy Monday, Peeps!

I'm so lucky to have such a great team supporting me in my hot male stalking endeavors. Friends and family alike have been going full force to help me seek out the hottest of hot, and for that, I am so thankful. So hats off to you, lovies! You are truly helping make the world a happier place, one stalk at a time.

That being said, I've been doing this for years, if only subconsciously. My mom, one of my partners in stalking crime, has done her part as well, while playfully poking fun at me for having such a passion. During a visit home, she was so excited to finally get a chance to sit me down to watch her new favorite show, CSI: Miami. She had been talking about the show with such fervor that I had to see what the fuss was about. Detective shows, especially the CSIs and Law & Orders, abound on boob tube, so what was so special about this one? I simply didn't get it...that is, until a CSI: Miami marathon came on. Curled up in our warm blankeys with coffee cups in hand, we gazed at the screen, as I waited impatiently for the magic to happen. "You'll see," she said smirking happily. "Just wait."

And bless her heart, because the magic did indeed happen, and oh, how wonderfully tingle-y it felt. Getting his "investi-ga-tory" detective on as Eric Delko was today's juicy tidbit: ADAM RODRIGUEZ! Adam, the 34 year old, 6 ft tall, 1/4 Cuban, 3/4 Puerto Rican New York native is an ex-full time stockbroker -cum- actor (don't forgive the pun). He's best known for his role as Delko on CSI: Miami, but has appeared in several TV shows, films and music videos since beginning his acting career. He will also star in the upcoming Tyler Perry movie "I Can Do Bad All By Myself" alongside Taraji P. Henson, AND a little birdie hinted that he might even show up on the new season of Ugly Betty. The suspense is just too much.

Adam's got it all: smoldering good looks, brains, talent, smoldering good looks, NY swagger, a grown man fashion sense, and did I mention he is fine like wine?! When he transforms into his character Eric Delko and slaps on a pair of those medical gloves to inspect a crime scene, I wanna die just so he can run his man hands allllll over my body. Cavity search me, Adam. Cavity. Search. Me. [Hahahahaha ok, I MAY have gone too far with that one but come on! Like you weren't thinking that!!]

Let's take a moment of silence of the dirty thought inducing magic that is Adam.

Stalk on!

Hot Men. Tasty Morsels. Every Monday. E: hotmalealert@gmail.com W: hotmalealert.blogspot.com

Music To Our...(ahem) Hearts : Ashley Walters

Happy Monday, peeps! And Happy Labor Day, as it were.

Today I got to experience the West-Indian Day Parade and Carnival 2009 in Brooklyn. Music thumpin' and bodies jumpin', carnival brought out the hot males like you would NOT believe. I'm walking through the parade, catching glimpses of half-naked men's beautifully and intricately-crafted bodies. Glistening with sweat, gyrating left and right to the irresistible rhythms of Caribbean music. Each time a new chocolate confection passed me by, it was like music to my loins, all tingly and what not. "Yesss," I whispered as they passed, "Yes. Yes. Yesss."

So while we're on the subject of music and sexy chocolate desserts that leave us begging for more, today's juicy tidbit: ASHLEY WALTERS!!! Ashley, also known as Asher D, is an import from across the pond in the UK. This 27 year old Hersey's Kiss is a rapper-turned-actor formerly of the group So Solid Crew. While rapping, Ashley got into a little trouble with the Law, then changed his life for the better, which, let's be honest, is kinda sexy. As if spitting 16 bars and doing naughty things weren't enough to get us all excited, he's actually dead sexy in that dorky, creative-but-still-masculine kinda way we like mucho. Bad boy-turned-good is the best kind of dessert. The kind that melts the...(ahem)...heart...or loins...or both. Mmm mm mm, decadent!


Let's take a moment of silence for the naughty and decadent dessert that is Ashley.

Stalk on!

GOOOOOAAAL!! : Freddie Ljungberg

Happy Monday, peeps!

It is my esteemed pleasure to kick start your work week by hitting you over the head with hotness at its most delectable. Today, I'm coming with a special alert, my M.A.M.B alert (for those of you that are new to H.M.A., the Men. Agression. Muscles. Brawn. [M.A.M.B] alert is especially for sports guys.), with soccer as the main event.

Mmm, soccer...or football as they call it, well, everywhere else but the US. Interesting sport it is indeed. I will be blatantly honest and admit that hell if i know how to play or what any of it means. If a player scores a goal, some announcer will most certainly yell GOOOOOAAAAAAAL! at the top of their lungs for at least a whole 2 minutes. And when a game is on, you can bet your bottom dollar that every man in a 100 mile radius of a television, computer and/or radio will be congregate to view the spectacle. And if the idea of millions of potentially hot men gathering to watch the sport weren't enough, the sport itself offers up some of the tastiest male specimens the world has to offer! I'm talking DISGUSTINGLY handsome; all running up and down a field in little shorts, sweating profusely, picking fights with each other and smacking each other's bums. "Woooo", she says as she fans herself with a pair of panties, "I ain't mad, hoooney!"

Speaking of footballers I'd throw my panties at, today's juicy tidbit: FREDDIE LJUNGBERG!!! Freddie is a 32 year old Swedish sports stunner who, after having played on several international teams, he has found his latest home in Seattle, Washington with the Seattle Sounders FC. He's so much of a stunner with his square jaw, ice blue eyes, and body that looks like it was chiseled out of granite by the likes of Michaelango or Rodin, that Calvin Klein had the good sense to snatch him up for his ad campaigns. Mmm mm mm, he could kick a pass through my goal post anyday...or whatever terminology they use in the football world for that...you know what I mean.

Let's take a moment of silence for the Swedish splendor that is Freddie.

Stalk on!

Too Hot for TV: Mehcad Brooks

There are only a handful of TV shows that I simply CANNOT miss every week. One of which is True Blood. Maybe its the cute (yet exaggerated) Southern accents that remind me of home in the Dirty South. Maybe its my not-so-secret obsession with all things vampire. Or maybe its a latent desire to be bitten, becoming one of those fabulously sexy creatures that go "bump" in the night. Whatever it is, I just can't get enough of True Blood. The writing is deliciously ridiculous, the cliffhangers are spine-tingling, and the men (Eric, Sam, Jason, and Bill) are OOOOoooo so tasty. So when, at the end of the show's first season, actor Mehcad Brooks was added to the cast rooster as Benedict "Eggs" Talley, I was pleased. Very pleased.

Mehcad is what I would call...succulent. Yes, that word seems to fit him rather nicely. The 28 year old actor has a recognizable face (and body) from his roles on such television shows as Desperate Housewives and CW's The Game as Melanie's rebound guy after the whole devastating break-up with Derwin. That honest, dork-sexy face, that chocolate-y while thunderous voice might have been what initially attracted Melanie and Tara from True Blood, but it is his body, muscle ripples abounding, standing at what I'm guessing to be at least 6ft tall, that practically stupefies me every week. As I watch him woo Tara, layin' that good lovin' down and what not, I sigh a little bit. Oh, what I'd do to live in Bon Temp, even just for a day. If he were a vampire, I'd soo let me bite me. Yes, that's right, I said it: I'd turn fangbanger for him....

Let's take a moment of silence for the blood-thirsty, sex-crazed televised succulence that is Mehcad.

Stalk on!